Monday, March 01, 2004

Today is the deadline for UT to notify consortium applicants if they got in or not. So this weekend, since I hadn't heard a peep since my interview, I checked my online status and was greeted with this:

"Your application has been given careful consideration by the Admissions
Committee. On the basis of their recommendation, your application has been
denied. If you have questions, please write directly to the Graduate School of
Business. "

That's right, I was DINGED by University of Texas. No email, no letter, no nothing. Just three sentences on my online status page.

I can't say that I'm really disappointed because of the ding, but I am VERY surprised. Although I never explicitly said it, UT was sort of my safety school. What does it mean if I can't even get into my safety school? And mind you it's a safety school that says it's hungry for qualified minority applicants. Does that mean I'm unqualified?

This ding was so unexpected that it threw me through a loop. I literally checked the online status three times because I thought I had been mistaken. Even when I read it now, I half expect that the words will magically change before my eyes to say, "Just Kidding!! Of course you're in!" It felt like a boyfriend had broken up with me through a "Dear Jane" letter. I had a nightmare last night about the ding - this one actually haunts me. I have so many unanswered questions, so many worries now. I can't believe I couldn't even get in to UT.

And please don't mistake my shock for a sense of entitlement. But my stats are well above UT's averages (not that it's all about stats). And they accept something like 40% of the applicants. I think there are 3 possible explanations: 1) I suck. 2) They thought I wouldn't go to UT so they dinged me first (I talked to some of the students on the adcom about my concerns about the lack of minority representation - I know stupid move but I didn't realize they were adcom members). 3)My essays, which I wrote in September, weren't convincing enough.

I just thought I would get in is all. Whatever the reason for the ding, I suppose I'll never know.

But even though this ding hit me hard, I still have faith. I believe that NOW is the time for me to go to business school, and I have faith that I will be in school this fall. I still believe in the blessings of limited choices. I have prayed that the path to the right choice for me will be easy to recognize. Whenever I have prayed for this, things that appeared negative on the surface ultimately lead to positive things. So I believe that this is for the best and clearly UT is not for me.

I just hope I get positive news through this process. I'll hear from NYU in 2 to 3 weeks and from Wharton by March 25. Whatever happens, the waiting will all be over soon.

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