Wednesday, June 16, 2004

An interlude...

I've seen several disturbing things in the last couple of days, and I feel it is my duty as a concerned citizen to do something about it. Since the official start of summer is a few days away and the humidity has risen to an oh-so-comfortable muggy level, I feel I must address the issue of women's summer footwear.

Ladies, please, if you are going to wear sandals, select a size large enough so that your dragon toes are not dragging on the sidewalk. It looks freaky when your toes hang over the side of your shoe.

Also with sandals, please either wear unchipped nail polish, or skip the polish all together. I can think of few things more trifling than chipped toe nail polish while wearing sandals.

And mules can be fun. But if you are going to wear them, please take two seconds in the morning and put some lotion on your heels. Nobody wants to look at your dry, cracked, ashy heels as you lumber up the steps to the train. That goes for sandals too!

Oh and socks with sandals or mules... NO!! Not allowed!

And can someone PLEASE explain to me what the heck is up with the popularity of the mesh plastic slippers with the little flowers on them? Those slippers are UGLY. I have yet to see someone whose feet looked attractive in them. Remember jellies? Remember how your feet would get dirty in jellies? Well, the same principle applies here - just say no to the plastic shoes.

Speaking of jellies. Of all the '80s footwear, jellies were chosen to make a comeback? What the hell? Some things just shouldn't make a comeback. Next thing you know people will be wearing two different colored socks to match their outfits.

Ladies, if we work together, we can eradicate ugly summer footwear.

We now return you to your regular programming...

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