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Sunday, May 29, 2005

The saddest part of breaking my foot has been all of the things I’m missing. When I fell, one of the first things I thought of was the fact that I wouldn’t be able to go on GIP. I was really looking forward to that trip. I hadn’t left North America since I was 9 years old, and I had never been to South America.

Beyond the fun of the trip, GIP symbolized something. It was an example of the new life I started when I went to Wharton. Because I worked for a nonprofit where I didn’t make much money, I didn’t travel much, except back home to Houston to visit my family. While I did get to go to different cities because of work, for the last few years most of my leisure travel was to the Lone Star State.

Going to Wharton has meant more than just earning a masters in business administration. More than building a new network and more than getting a new job. It was a fresh start. A chance to live and do the things I always wanted to do. Like sing on stage, like take a road trip across country, like travel abroad. I’m not saying that I couldn’t do these things without coming to Wharton, but for some reason, attending business gave me permission to spread my wings and do things I only dreamed. Going on GIP was one of those dreams.

So what do you do when a dream’s deferred? Well – I’m getting caught up on all the things that I missed. I didn’t have much time for the news beyond the front page of the paper. So now that my life is TV and books and movies and more TV, I’m learning about all the stuff I missed – like Michael Powell resigned from the FCC, and Howard Dean is head of the DNC, and CNN axed Crossfire, and Paige Davis got kicked off of Trading Spaces. (I’m really upset about the Trading Spaces thing!)

And I’m still trying to get a job. Because of the extent of my injury, (I have a lisfranc fracture – which is what Duce Staley from the Eagles had and then some) I can’t work until July. That makes an already trying job search all the more difficult. I have a couple of good leads, and I guess if they like me enough, they’ll let me start in July. I guess I just have to have faith.

And I will travel. I will go somewhere. I’m thinking African Safari for Spring Break. Or maybe a weekend in Paris for Fall Break. Or India GIP over Christmas Break. I’m not sure where I’m going but I’m determined to go somewhere.

So maybe this set back will make me appreciate my life at Wharton even more. Maybe I’ll take greater risks. Maybe I’ll push myself even further outside my comfort zone. Maybe it’ll make me realize that my self-discovery does not need to be limited to my Wharton experience.

At least I’ll have time to get caught up on the guilty pleasure that is reality TV.

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