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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Long time no blog.

I can't say I haven't blogged because I've been too busy. This has been one of the most low key times of my life. I'm basically taking it easy. I fill my days with packing, TV, movies, furniture shopping (and selling/donating), and hanging out with friends and family. My apartment looks like a shell of its former self - I'm surrounded by boxes and all the accoutrement that made my place home are packed away. Packing that stuff away makes it easier to pack. It was like when I packed my pictures and things I packed my attachment to my apartment. It's now easier to say goodbye to two years of memories.

Now I'm trying to get rid of things that won't make the trip across country with me. Goodwill and the Salvation Army have been the primary beneficiary, although the trash divers in West Philly have also made away with some stuff. I'm now about to try to sell a few things online. I've never sold anything online, so this is a new thing for me. I also have to sell my car. I'm also a bit nervous about that - I've never sold a car. I wish my family lived closer so I could lean on them to help me with that stuff. But I realize that I'm on my own - I'll have to figure it out.

I leave Philly in two weeks. I still have a few things on my to-do list but it should be a pretty easy two weeks. It feels weird to be living a place that was my home for the last 9 years. I'm actually moving 9 years to the day of when I first set foot in Philly. I'm ready to go - but I'm a little sad. I won't miss Philly's crappy weather, or my crappy landlord, or my, at times, crappy neighborhood. But I will miss knowing where everything is, and knowing the quickest way to get somewhere, and knowing where to get some obscure gift, and knowing what to expect.

San Francisco is completely new to me and I know nothing. I have to admit I'm a bit scared. Last night I had my first nightmare about moving (I dreamed my new apartment was only a itty-bitty studio with a shower curtain for a wall. I was panicked for a bit until I realized it was just a dream). I guess a little of anxiety is a good thing. It's just weird to be a ball of emotions - scared, anxious, sad, excited, happy - all at once. I guess I feel a lot like I did when I started school. I wasn't sure I'd be successful and I didn't know what was ahead of me. I feel the same thing now.

So the next two weeks I plan to finish my packing, sell my car, TV, and microwave, go see all my favorite haunts one last time, go see those places that I always meant to go to but never did, say goodbye to my friends :(, and say farewell to my life in Philly. I'm ready to go, but I'm sad nonetheless.


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