Wednesday, March 31, 2004

For those who are searching for last minute scholarships and fellowships (and BTW what's the difference between a scholarship and a fellowship?), here are a couple of links to check out:

Funds Net
Student Awards
Cornell's Fellowship Listing (not just for people attending Cornell)

I spent ENTIRELY too much time on the BW yesterday. It was ridiculous. And I have absolutely no excuse for hanging out there so much. All my decisions are in, so it's not like I go there to find information. I go there for the sarcasm. Yes, I'm addicted to sarcasm, please help me! I now realize that most of the posts telling people their GMAT scores are too low are tongue in cheek jokes from the evil bunch that reside there. That place is dangerous. Stay away! Stay away!

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

I did it. I told my boss that I was going to business school in the fall. It was a huge relief - I hate lying and hemming and hawing.

She's a Wharton alum, which I knew. But what was cool was that she applied to Michigan also. Wharton and Michigan were the only schools to which she applied. So we had an interesting and enlightening discussion. She seemed genuinely happy for me and appreciated the heads up for scheduling purposes. I'm glad I told her well in advance. Hopefully this won't come back to haunt me as the higher ups get wind of my good fortune. You know what they say, no good deed goes unpunished.

Before I got the Wharton news last week, I felt like time was dragging. Now I feel like time has shifted into hyperdrive. I have to accept/decline the Michigan fellowship by April 15. I've asked for an extension until the end of the month, but it's still not a lot of time to make a $120,000 decision. And apply for more scholarships. And find a new apartment. I wish I could stop time like that girl on that TV show whose father was from outerspace.

Oh and good luck to everyone waiting for Stanford and Harvard news tomorrow. Don't forget to get a new pair of shoes!

Monday, March 29, 2004

I have a tough decision to make in the next few weeks. I have to decide if I'll be headed to Michigan with a full fellowship or if I'll be headed to Wharton with less money. The cost difference between the two is about $30,000 in loans per year.

My heart says Wharton. I feel like I fit there and I really like the school culture. When I visited other schools, my feeling was, "This could work, I could be happy here." When I visited Wharton, I felt, "I belong here, this is home." I know it's cheesy but I did feel a slightly better fit for me at Wharton. I just like the way they do things there.

But a full fellowship is a full fellowship, and $30 Grand per year ain't nothing to sniff at. Especially since I'm a nonprofiteer. I won't have much money going into school, and I'm not sure I'll have much going out. So it's hard for me to walk away from that money.

Michigan has an incredibly strong program, don't get me wrong. But I would still need to take out a significant amount of debt to attend Michigan. And their loan forgiveness program is not as generous as Wharton's. Also, I believe there are better recruiting opportunities at Wharton for nonprofits and in general. AND it snows twice as much in Ann Arbor than it does in Philly.

So I'm 95% sure I'm headed to Wharton this fall. I'm furiously applying to a couple of scholarships to help bridge the gap. If I were able to cut the differential cost down to $15,000 in loans in year one, I would feel much better about this decision. (I'm mostly concerned about the first year cost. There are MANY scholarship opportunities for continuing students. I've started a log to keep track of them because I intend to be all over the free money next year.)

And oh, for those who wondered - my favorite shoe shopping haunts are DSW, Nordstrom Off the Rack, Burlington Coat Factory, and of course the old standby for inexpensive shoes, Payless Shoe Source.

Friday, March 26, 2004

Wow. Thank you all so much. I'm totally overwhelmed and humbled by the support and your comments. You've all made what was already an outstanding day, totally spectacular. I don't know if I'm able to fully express how much I appreciate it. Thanks for the congrats and the love. Someone commented that it was probably the support and not the shoes that put me over the top at Wharton. I think they may be right. Thanks for reading and thanks for your good wishes and prayers.

So many people have helped me during this application process. It amazes me how much time and effort people are willing to spend to help. It makes me all the more determined to "give back."

I still have a big goofy grin on my face. People at work keep asking, "what's going on with you?" And all I do is grin and say, "Oh, nothing."

And I keep waiting for the call or email that says, "Opps! We made a mistake. We didn't mean to accept you." But it hasn't come yet, so I'm still happy and extremely grateful.

Thanks again, y'all. It's gonna be a good weekend :D

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Oh my God!

"Congratulations! On behalf of the entire Admissions Committee, it is my great pleasure to inform you that you have been selected to join the Wharton MBA Class of 2006. Your outstanding record of personal, professional and academic achievements clearly distinguished you within a highly competitive and selective applicant pool. We are thrilled about the possibility of you joining the Wharton community. "

Holy Shit. I still don't believe it when I see it.

Maybe the key IS buying shoes....

T minus 1 hour and 50 minutes...

New pair of shoes.... check!
A night tossing and turning.... check!
My finger ready to hit F5 like a mad woman in less than two hours.... check!

I like that Wharton releases its decisions all at once. There's no waiting by the phone. There's no need to watch for patterns on the BW. Everyone knows at the same time. Very democratic. At the same time it makes you anxious anticipating this one moment. A moment when you find out if you're in or you're out.

Anyway, good luck to everyone who's awaiting the word from Wharton.

T minus 1 hour and 47 minutes....

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Speaking of paying for business school... There's an online chat scheduled today at 11:30 AM eastern on the Business Week B School site. Two people from Sallie Mae and Ann Richards, an adcom from Cornell will be on the chat. For more info check out this link.

25 hours and 17 minutes left until the Wharton decision.

I'm just a little bit nervous. I think having an admit in hand has calmed me a tad. Although every night I have some sort of anxiety dream. Last night I dreamt that I got a letter from Wharton pointing out all my faults and why I didn't get into the school. I know tonight I'm going to have a very hard time sleeping.

For those who are waiting for Wharton decisions or are experiencing some sort of insomnia, check out Wharton's all night chat starting tonight at 6 PM eastern. I will NOT be on the chat all night, because I just couldn't handle all that nervous energy. Plus I need my beauty rest. AND I need to go buy shoes at some point...

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

I think I’m going to tell my boss about business school. Today we were talking about timelines and workloads. Now that I know I’m out of there by the end of July, I feel I have to tell my boss so she can plan. I can’t even look her in the eye when she starts talking about a major project I work on. My conscience is seriously weighing on me and I think the most professional thing to do would be to let her know by May 1. I hope my conscience doesn’t result in a big chuck being bit out of my ass.

On MBADiversity, Someone posted a loan calculator that shows how much money you need to make to service student loan debt. Here’s an example that made me almost hyperventilate:

“Loan Balance: $100,000.00
Loan Interest Rate: 8.25%
Loan Term: 10 years
Minimum Payment: $50.00

Monthly Loan Payment: $1,226.53
Cumulative Payments: $147,182.90
Total Interest Paid: $47,182.90

“Note: The monthly loan payment was calculated at 119 payments of $1,226.53 plus a final payment of $1,225.83 .

It is estimated that you will need an annual salary of at least $147,183.60 to be able to afford to repay this loan. This estimate assumes that 10% of your gross monthly income will devoted to repaying your student loans. If you use 15% of your gross monthly income to repay the loan, you will need an annual salary of only $98,122.40, but you may experience some financial difficulty.”

That’s right you need to make $150 K to be comfortable – that doesn’t even count house, car, previous education loans, whatever debt that you may have.

Sure, the interest rate in this example is probably too high, but you’re probably going to have to pay $1,000 AT LEAST to service MBA debt with no scholarships

Now for all the ballers who are going into IB or MC or whatever, this may not seem as daunting. It’s totally possible that you’ll be making more than $150K within five years of graduation. But me – a person who decided to go into nonprofit management – I’m probably not making $150K until I’m over 50. So unless I pick up a sugar daddy in grad school (which I’m not totally opposed to :) ), I’ve got to consider the cost of my education, and my ability to pay back the debt.

So, although I think it would be cool to make a difference at NYU, making a difference for a bunch of folks who don’t value the nonprofit sector ain’t gonna put food on the table.

Monday, March 22, 2004

I had the WEIRDEST anxiety dream this weekend. I dreamt that I was standing in front of the Wharton adcoms a la American Idol. I was fully prepared for the judges/adcoms to rip me to shreds, when they said all these really positive things about me, including a glowing review from an adcom that looked just like Simon Cowell. And then (here's the weird part) I threw away an old bag of french fries and all these mice appear. Big mice, little mice, adult mice, baby mice. They kept leaping on my bed trying to get me. Well then I figured out that if you dump cold water on them, you kill them. So I was running around with this water canister on my back (much like the Ghostbusters) and spraying the mice with ice water. Weird, huh?

Well, I looked up mice on a dream interpretation site. It seems mice symbolize minor problems that you are spending too much time on (surprise!). But the cool thing is if you kill the mice in your dream, it means you will over come the problem. So maybe my dream means I should stop obsessing, and just wait for the good news on Thursday.

I received scholarship news this weekend. The consortium sent out its decisions, and I was awarded the consortium fellowship at Michigan. This is huge, because as a poor nonprofiteer, I have virtually no money and without significant support an MBA would be pretty much out of reach. I was also awarded a half tuition scholarship at NYU, which is cool.

I'm thinking that NYU may not be the place for me though. Stern is just developing its nonprofit focus. The Net Impact and Nonprofit Association are relatively new. One of the ideas for the 2004 class gift was to establish a loan forgiveness program, but the word on the street is that there is some resistance to a program like that. Also nonprofit organizations do not currently recruit at Stern (although they are working on that issue). Loan forgiveness and the ability to find a job after graduation are two major deciding factors for me, so when you factor in that I would still have to take out significant debt ($40K in the first year alone), NYU moves down on my list. It would have been cool to be hanging out in Greenwich Village for two years though.

Friday, March 19, 2004

It's official. The Wharton decision date will not be moved up. March 25th at 9 AM eastern it is. But I keep checking the S2S to see if the adcoms have changed their minds. Maybe if we ask nicely, they'll move up the date. Pleeeeaaasee! With a cherry on top? I guess that's more like whining than asking. Maybe I could send baked goods. I'm quite an excellent baker. Bribery through baked goods can be a good thing.

Ugh waiting sucks. It's just 6 days I know. But it feels soo far away. One thing I know for sure - I'll be buying shoes the day before.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Hey fellow bloggers - I was looking at Tad Holbie's blog, and I think we may need to add a disclaimer to the MBA Advice blog. We live in letigious society, I would hate for what is our idea of helpful advice to come back to bite us in the ass. Just an idea...

Seems The Donald may still be looking for future Apprentici. Applications are still being accepted. The website has removed the due date (after extending it a couple weeks in a row - sounds like they are having difficulty generating applications). There are also open calls in New York, Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Miami, Cleveland (WTF?), San Francisco, Austin, Omaha (WTF2?), Little Rock (WTF3?!), Portland, and New Orleans.

Perhaps we should all considering forgoing the formal MBA education and go for the school of reality TV. For those of you venturing out to the open calls in the next couple weeks: Remember DRAMA sells. So act divalicious and you are a shoo-in.

But don't say you'd pick HBS over Wharton. The Donald doesn't like that.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

I was kind of bummed to leave Texas today. There's snow on the ground here! Ba humbug! But all is not bummerific. Just checked my email and I got into Stern. Woo hoo!!! Choice has arrived. I am VERY excited.

Good news comes in threes so maybe that's a good omen for the Wharton decision next Thursday.

I went shoe shopping again yesterday, but no news from NYU. Guess there is nothing to the shoe shopping magic. I thought having an acceptance in hand would make me less manic, but I still check my email a ridiculous amount. One person who interviewed during Perspectives weekend reported an admit on the BW Forum. I don't know why I'm so anxious, I only have 3 more days of waiting for NYU max.

Much of the buzz on the BW that I pay attention to is about when people are resigning from work (like this thread or this one). It's amazing how much people HATE their jobs. People despise what they do and who they work with to get it done. A lot of them seem to think that earning an MBA opens the door to the golden, perfect job. Good pay, decent hours, lots of challenge, and great people. I don't know, I think the key to the golden, perfect job is doing what you are passionate about. I think it's about listening to what your soul wants to do. You can't really worry about pay, hours, or coworkers - it's about doing your life's work. I think many of the people who are miserable in their jobs will find they may still be miserable post MBA. Maybe it has to do with that "toiling by the sweat of your brow" thing. Damn that Adam and Eve!

Monday, March 15, 2004

My guilt has left the building!

Now that I know my days in the working world are numbered (tee hee - how cool is that?!), I find myself fantasizing how and when I'll quit my job. It's going to be tough to work the next few months on the projects I dislike.

I'll be professional, no doubt. But in my head I'll tell people off when they piss me off. And I'll crush more heads with my thumb and index finger. And I think I'll take more risks. I'll have more fun. It's gonna be good times.

I feel like I'm about to start a whole new life. And that's pretty damn cool.

Saturday, March 13, 2004

I've been outed.

I have a different screen name on the BW Forum - not because I'm trying to be sneaky. I joined the BW before I started this blog. I use my BW screen name all the time and it's connected the email I used for my applications. In the interest of anonymity I chose not to connect my BW screen name to FMG. Well someone connected the dots and found me out. Oh well.

Thank you for all the kind comments and congrats. My brother's reaction to Michigan was pretty funny. All he said was, "It snows in Michigan." Well even if he's underwhelmed, I'm still pretty excited. My confidence has been restored. I no longer feel like I was totally wrong to apply to these schools. I feel like I could be a "contenda."

Hopefully the next two weeks will yield choice.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

I spent the afternoon shopping (got a very cute pair of suede flip flops), and when I got hope I checked my email just out of habit. In my inbox was an email with a subject line that said "Congratulations from the..." It was from Lisa Hurst, one of the Michigan adcoms.

All I could think was NO WAY.

Well yes way! I got into Michigan!! And I still can't believe it. I didn't even interview there. Maybe the ding streak is over.

Holy Shit, I got into Michigan!!

The Today Show had a panel analyzing the reality of The Apprentice. I only caught the last 2 minutes, but I assume the panel was in response to the exchange the Donald had with a Yale business professor in the Journal (check out this thread on the S2S). One of the panelist was a professor from NYU Stern. I feel like everywhere I turn there's business school stuff. Business school, business school, business school!

I got an email from Michigan asking for my tax documents so they can process my financial aid file. Should I read anything into this request? I'll try not to read anything into it for the sake of my sanity.

I also don't know what to write on the advice blog - I keep thinking of lighter topics but I suppose the advice blog is all seriousness. I want to contribute. I really do. I just don't know what to say. But I don't want to be a dead beat. Any ideas about what I should talk about? Come on, help me. I'm indecisive yet opinionated.

I'm sooo glad the wait will be over in 2 weeks. This wait is making me crazy.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Hey, 3app. We love ya. We really do. But you have no commenting/emailing capability through which we could invite you. But we got nothing but love for you!

In an effort to help me keep MBA applications off my mind, my family and I are taking a field trip up to Brenham Texas today. Brenham is home to my favorite ice cream (my favorite food), Blue Bell. There's no Blue Bell up north, so whenever I make a trip home, I make sure to get a pint of Blue Bell vanilla ice cream. This is the stuff happiness is made of.

The MBA Advice Blog has moved. There are already words of wisdom there. I think this blog will become an awesome resource for future applicants. I'm glad I'll be able to contribute. Check it out. And a belated shout out to Downlow. Welcome to the fold.

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

I really hope the Wharton adcoms move up the decision date. I'm starting to have anxious dreams about the process. On S2S, Fanantical Fan explained the process applications go through before interview invites. Apparently, two readers rate independently rate applications 1-6, with 1 being "walks on water" and 6 being "admit this person over my dead body." Applications receiving ratings 1-3 are invited to interview. I'm not sure if the interviewers rate the applicants but in my dream they did. In my dream I saw the ratings on my application I got a 1, 3, and a 6! So I was dinged! It was horrible!! The dream ended with a close encounter of the nice kind with The Rock (you know, the wrestler), so I can't say the dream was all that bad...

Shout out to R, a new blogger - Thanks for reading my blog. A special thank you to Yogi and Harry for giving me a heads up to correct my tech stupidity. Thanks for looking out! And check out the new MBA advice blog that Techie started. The idea is the applicant blogging family will share their collective wisdom with future applicants. At this point the only advice I have is what not to do (like do not sing "The Eyes of Texas are upon Us" in your UT interview. And yes I did that. But it was totally in context! Hmm maybe that's why I was dinged...). It will be interesting to see how this blog evolves.

Monday, March 08, 2004

There are a couple of threads on the S2S that express some anger about Wharton’s selection process. There are some pretty bitter folks out there. And while I don’t agree with throwing the equivalent of a virtual tantrum over an admissions decision, these threads (which I have chosen not to link to – it will only perpetuate negativity) have got me thinking about the whole admissions process.

As applicants, I believe it is our job to use the application to provide a reflection of who we are. We need to express passionately the career choices we’ve made, what we want to be when we grow up, and how earning an MBA from ABC Business School will help us achieve our aspirations. We need to let the admissions committee know that if admitted a) we can do the coursework b) we will contribute to the school community, and c) we will be employable when we finish our two-year stint at business school.

On top of these messages, we need to express them in a way that will make the admission committee want to admit us. In other words, we need to be interesting. We need to paint a picture of ourselves that makes the adcoms say, “You know what, I think this person is pretty cool. I don’t think I would mind sitting next to them at 3 AM working on a group project.”

How do you do all this in a business school application? I wish I knew definitively. I believe you do it by creating themes in your essays so that a reader can walk away with a quick two-sentence blurb that sums up who you are. I think it’s about showing passion, commitment, continuous improvement and development, drive, and ultimately that elusive thing called fit.

So we applicants pour our heart and soul into the application. We write incredibly personal essays. We reveal our motivations and aspirations. We reveal things that even our closest friends may not know. We reveal a reflection of ourselves. And then we click the submit button.

And then it’s out of our hands.

Hopefully we’ll get to interview, which will help reiterate the package we presented in our application. But once you’ve done that – everything else is out of your control.

So we submit. And we wait.

But it’s out of our hands. Once you’ve created the package, it’s up to the admissions committee to determine that you fit in the class they’ve trying to create. They evaluate the strength of our applications relative to the rest of the applicant pool. They try to put together a class that will embody the school’s culture and mission.

When rejection comes, if it comes, it hurts. Because those packages and what we reveal in them make us feel vulnerable. After all these applications are reflections of who we are and who we want to be.

But it is not the person that is rejected. It is the package, the paper image, that is rejected. It’s not you – it’s the paper you that is rejected.

But it still hurts. It still stings. It definitely blows. But it just means it wasn’t meant to be. At least not this year. So you learn from it. You improve. You become better. You move on.

And that’s just about all you can do.

Friday, March 05, 2004

Traveling during spring break time is always an adventure. My plane was filled with college and high school ( I KNOW! High School!! UNCHAPERONED!!! I was shocked, too.) kids. As they boarded the plane it filled with the smell of old funky clothes that were bunched in the corner and stale beer. The smell brought me back to my college days! I can't believe I was actually attracted to guys that smelled funky and beery. One of the kids got on the PA system and told all of the passengers to not get too drunk and to not get arrested. Sage advice.

I was also gifted with the dreaded center seat. I hate traveling in coach. The guy next to me was totally in my space - which is just wrong when you have the window seat. And he kept getting up and down. And he kept wiggling. AND he had the nerve to do all this while flying standby!

Second magic world changing wand move - eliminate the middle seat on planes. Or better yet eliminate all obnoxious space stealing wiggling morons who get the window seat.

But I digress. I suppose any flight where you land in one piece is a good flight. So I had a good flight.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

I leave tomorrow for vacation so today I have a sh!t load of work. I hate those days before leaving for vacation. Work gets dumped on you like you aren't coming back. Like when you get to your destination, you'll suddenly say, "Hey! I like it much better here. Screw my former life! I'm never going back!!" Part of the excessive workload is my fault though. Too much lollygagging on Forums and the like.

Since bloggers have been writing about what they are reading now, I thought I join in too (and Hella - LOVE The DaVinci Code). Currently I'm reading The Winner-Take-All Society by Robert Frank and Philip Cook. It's about how our economy is becoming more dichotomous, and the divide between the Haves and the Have Nots is widening. The author's theory is that most labor markets have become similar to labor markets in entertainment and sports. That is to say, there is a small population with the most talent making boat loads of money and the rest are left with jack. The problem is there is often only a marginal difference of performance between the top performers and the next tier of performers. What ends up happening is members of society end up wasting lots of resources in pursuit of these top spots. It's an interesting read. I can't say it's going fast because 1) I'm not a big fan of the nonfiction books; 2) the book sometimes propagates what I believe is flawed logic - and flawed logic drives me nuts; and 3) I spend too much of my spare time on the damn BW Forums. I figure I'll make a serious dent in it on the plane tomorrow.

Alright - off to do 2 weeks worth of work in one day. Tootles!

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Today will be a FUN! filled day. I'm getting my root canal done. My dental insurance doesn't cover it, which I don't entirely understand. A root canal seems like a medical necessity to me - it's not like I'm getting veneers. If I had a magic world changing wand, one of the first things I'd change would be our medical/insurance system.

I'll also be participating on an interview for my new boss. We've had a temporary boss since September, and this will be my 6th boss in 3.5 years. I know, OUT of control turnover. Of the 27 people that were here when I started in 2000, 15 have left. And that doesn't even count the dozen of others (mainly directors, COOs, and CFOs) who started and left after I got here. For a professional organization, we have crazy amounts of turnover.

So I'll be interviewing for the 6th victim, I mean, boss today. Hmmm maybe it's an omen that I'm getting a root canal on the same day we're interviewing this guy. Maybe this new person will bring lots of initial pain that ultimately leads to something more healthy. Hey I like the sound of that.

And oh, like many of my past Lenten promises and New Year's resolutions, I've already broken my Forum Fast. Sigh. I think they should invent a patch to keep people away from the Forums. But hey, the first step is admitting you have a problem, right? Great! I'm on my way - 11 more steps to go...

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

All this rejection had got me thinking. I never thought about it before but can you imagine what it feels like to be a CEO that's fired and the news is splashed all over the place? How much does that have to suck? Or do people who are CEOs have super tough feelings, and they can let that kind of stuff just roll off their backs? Does failure or rejection always sting? Do we ever outgrow those feelings of shame and inadequacy (however brief)? Does it ever get easier to put forth your best effort and still not succeed?

This waiting thing absolutely BLOWS. And even though there's nothing more that I can do (right?) I find myself wasting incredible amounts of time on the BW and S2S forums. It's as if I expect some new enlightening information will spring forth from these forums, and that I must get said information as soon as it is available. Isn't one of the signs of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? My goal is to break the obsession - I'm not going on them at all tomorrow. Wait maybe I'll start my Forum Fast on Thursday... or maybe Friday.

I know this is going to be an incredibly LONG two weeks. One positive thing is I'm going on vacation to visit my brother for a couple of weeks. Last year during the height of all of the military overseas conflicts, my genius of a brother decides to sign up for the Navy. Not quite sure I get his thought process. I don't think I'd ever go, "Hey, the nation is at war. Sign me up for the military!!!" To each his own, I guess. I'm going to hang out with him for a while until he goes off to Officer Candidate School. Hopefully that will make the time go faster.

Monday, March 01, 2004

Today is the deadline for UT to notify consortium applicants if they got in or not. So this weekend, since I hadn't heard a peep since my interview, I checked my online status and was greeted with this:

"Your application has been given careful consideration by the Admissions
Committee. On the basis of their recommendation, your application has been
denied. If you have questions, please write directly to the Graduate School of
Business. "

That's right, I was DINGED by University of Texas. No email, no letter, no nothing. Just three sentences on my online status page.

I can't say that I'm really disappointed because of the ding, but I am VERY surprised. Although I never explicitly said it, UT was sort of my safety school. What does it mean if I can't even get into my safety school? And mind you it's a safety school that says it's hungry for qualified minority applicants. Does that mean I'm unqualified?

This ding was so unexpected that it threw me through a loop. I literally checked the online status three times because I thought I had been mistaken. Even when I read it now, I half expect that the words will magically change before my eyes to say, "Just Kidding!! Of course you're in!" It felt like a boyfriend had broken up with me through a "Dear Jane" letter. I had a nightmare last night about the ding - this one actually haunts me. I have so many unanswered questions, so many worries now. I can't believe I couldn't even get in to UT.

And please don't mistake my shock for a sense of entitlement. But my stats are well above UT's averages (not that it's all about stats). And they accept something like 40% of the applicants. I think there are 3 possible explanations: 1) I suck. 2) They thought I wouldn't go to UT so they dinged me first (I talked to some of the students on the adcom about my concerns about the lack of minority representation - I know stupid move but I didn't realize they were adcom members). 3)My essays, which I wrote in September, weren't convincing enough.

I just thought I would get in is all. Whatever the reason for the ding, I suppose I'll never know.

But even though this ding hit me hard, I still have faith. I believe that NOW is the time for me to go to business school, and I have faith that I will be in school this fall. I still believe in the blessings of limited choices. I have prayed that the path to the right choice for me will be easy to recognize. Whenever I have prayed for this, things that appeared negative on the surface ultimately lead to positive things. So I believe that this is for the best and clearly UT is not for me.

I just hope I get positive news through this process. I'll hear from NYU in 2 to 3 weeks and from Wharton by March 25. Whatever happens, the waiting will all be over soon.

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